


tell me true

by emilia_kaisa



Series: it's okay (I know someday I'm gonna be with you) [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Emotional, Feelings, Fluff, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, i tried to write sth kinda romantic but i think i failed, i'm on a writing spree someone stop me, spoiler alert: love confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 08:03:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15432609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: Javier fell on his couch with a sigh and looked around his almost empty living room. Couch, coffee table, tv. Boxes filled with his books and clothes, six years of his life packed with airiness and waiting to travel around the world.Javier leaned forvard, hiding his face in his hands and exhaling shakily.Madrid was still his home. And he still wanted to go there, to rest, finally, after all these years of sacrifice and chasing his dreams. He was tired and homesick, and he wanted to be able to see his family everyday. Just like that.But he knew that if he left Toronto, he would feel homesick too.Just like that.





	tell me true

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on a writing spree someone stop me pls -.-  
> This story picks up right after 'speak to me', but if you haven't read previous works of the series you can enjoy this too, I hope!  
> As always, please remember that: this is very fictional fiction and my English is not the greatest (writing in the middle of the night doesn't help).  
> Title from 'it's okay' by Tom Rosenthal (it's this series' anthem)  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

Javier opened his eyes slowly, his eyelids still heavy with sleep.

There was an unfamiliar weight on his chest, a dark-haired figure with cheek pressed against Javier's heartbeat.

His heart stuttered, warmth spreading to every fibre of his body.

It felt like he could spend forever like that, but they had to get up.

'Hey.' he ran his fingers through Yuzuru's hair, waking him up gently 'Wake up.'

Yuzuru whined quietly, nuzzling into Javier's shirt, his fists clenching.

'No.'

Javier chuckled, the sound vibrating in his whole body.

It felt a bit weird now, to be that happy.

'Come on.' he ran his hand down Yuzuru's spine, stopping to rest it on his lower back 'We've training in two hours.'

That actually forced Yuzuru to move, just like Javier knew it would. Yuzuru raised his head, looking Javier straight in the eyes, his gaze searching, and suddenly Javier felt significance of that whole situation. He suddenly felt uneasy, as if something was wrong there, his throat going dry under Yuzuru's intense gaze.

He swallowed hard.

'I'll make you breakfast.' he said, his voice hoarse, and Yuzuru blinked slowly before he nodded and scrambled out of bed.

It felt surreal.

A day before he had been standing in the same kitchen, resigned. Ha had given up a long time before, ready to go back home and heal his broken heart, and now there was Yuzuru in his kitchen, dressed in Javier's sleeping clothes, watching him as if he was waiting for something.

Javier felt lost. Confused. But also- happy.

'I hope you like scrambled eggs.' he said and Yuzuru shrugged his shoulders, small smile playing on his lips.

'I like everything you do.' he said, and it was cheesy and warm, and Javier's heart fluttered in his chest.

Yuzuru looked so soft, standing barefoot in Javier's kitchen, wearing his oversizde t-shirt, and all Javier wanted to do was kiss him.

And then he realized that now, he could.

 

 

Training felt as if nothing had changed, the familiarity of the ice bringing Javier comfort and calm. The only thing that was different were little smiles he and Yuzuru exchanged once in a while. Strangely, it didn't distract him at all. It felt warm. Familiar. Safe.

'You looked good today, Javi.' Brian said 'You seem very relaxed.'

'I feel good.' Javier admitted with a shrug and a slight smile.

'I thought you'd be more moody, with all that packing you have to do.' Brian said light- heartedly and Javier could feel his own smile fading.

Good thing he was great at pretending everything was fine.

'Yeah, it's crazy.' he nodded, his gaze darting to watch Yuzuru, who was doing his cooling down laps around the rink.

He thought about how he had been feeling that morning, all warm and dizzy when they kissed against the kitchen counter. He thought about half- filled boxes gathered around his apartment and his mother's hopeful voice when he had talked with her two days before.

Yuzuru waved at him, bright smile and happiness, and Javier's heart felt heavy yet again.

 

 

Javier fell on his couch with a sigh and looked around his almost empty living room. Couch, coffee table, tv. Boxes filled with his books and clothes, six years of his life packed with airiness and waiting to travel around the world.

Javier leaned forvard, hiding his face in his hands and exhaling shakily.

Madrid was still his home. And he still wanted to go there, to rest, finally, after all these years of chasing his dreams and sacrifice. He was tired and homesick, and he just wanted to be able to see his family everyday. Just like that.

But he knew that if he left Toronto, he would feel homesick too.

Just like that.

'Javi?' his mother picked up after two rings, her voice warm and loving.

'Hi, mom.' he said, his fingers playing with fabric of his pants 'I just- I wanted to ask how are you guys doing.'

'We talked yesterday, sweetheart.' she chuckled and he missed her so desperately it hurt 'So what's the real reason?'

Javier didn't answer, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat, his fist clenched.

'Javi?' she said his name again, that time her voice laced with worry 'Javi, what's the matter?'

'I miss you.' he said, his voice trembling slightly 'I miss you so much. But-' he didn't finish, he couldn't, but she understood him anyway, as always.

'I know that you're scared, honey.' she said gently 'I know that you feel like you're seventeen again and you're about to leave home. But you'll get through it, like always.'

'It just feels like something ends.' he said through his clenched throat and she sighed softly.

'Because it does.' she said, her voice warm 'But something begins, too'

They were quiet for a moment, sharing breathes across the ocean.

Javier closed his eyes.

'I love you, mom.'

'I love you too, Javi.'

 

 

When Yuzuru knocked to his door it was almost dark outside, the sky painted with dark blue, grey and purple. Javier's heart skipped a beat, his lips curling up in a smile.

'Hey.'

'Hi.'

They stood like that, looking at each other, smiling like teenagers.

Javier's heart ached.

'Come.'

They went to the kitchen, Javier preparing tea and Yuzuru looking around with curiosity. It felt nice. It felt familiar. It was hard to believe that it was a day before when Yuzuru had came in with trembling hands and determination in his eyes, and everything turned upside down.

'You have nothing in here.' Yuzuru noticed after inspecting his fridge and cupboards, and Javier closed his eyes for a second.

'I'm supposed to leave soon.' he said, not looking at Yuzuru.

He felt like an idiot, for not realizing that before. Because he always knew that he was destined to go back home, but it didn't stop Javier from wanting that, wanting more, wanting him. He felt sick with himself, now; Yuzuru had came to him, laying himself bare, and Javier let him, and now he understood that he was selfish, and that he was cruel.

He was about to leave. Yuzuru didn't deserve that, after everything what had happened.

It was so hard to breathe.

The only thing to interrupt silence between them was a sound of boiling water. Javier wondered why Yuzuru hadn't left already.

'I know.'

Javier looked at Yuzuru, startled.

'I know.' Yuzuru repeated, smiling 'Water is ready.'

Javier blinked and turned around to brew their tea, feeling dizzy, when Yuzuru spoke again, quietly.

'I made you go, before. Now I won't.'

Before Javier could turn around, he felt long arms wrapping around him, Yuzuru's forehead pressed between his shoulder blades and he inhaled shakily, covering Yuzuru's hands with his own.

 

 

'I'm sorry.' Javier said quietly and Yuzuru shook his head.

'Don't.'

'I panicked.'

'Javi.' Yuzuru turned around in his arms, his eyes strong and honest 'Don't.'

Javier nodded and Yuzuru smiled, going back to resting his back against Javier's chest.

It seemed easier now, when they were nestled on the couch, tv whispering in the bacground, rain hitting windows steadily. It was less scary, with Yuzuru's _we'll make it, I promise._

Javier thought that maybe Yuzuru still felt guilty about Pyeongchang, about all that pain, broken hearts and shattered hopes. Maybe that was why he was so desperate to work things out now, to not let go, to hold on.

Maybe it was all they needed.

'Hey.' he said quietly, his fingers fiddling with Yuzuru's hair 'You know that I love you, right?'

He didn't have to see Yuzuru's face to know that he was smiling.

'I love you too.'

 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Let me know in the cooments and thank you for reading!  
> (I'm going on vacation next week so I won't spam yuzuvier tag so much hah)


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